


The Adventures of a Little Village Goddess

by WildButterflies



Series: A little village goddess [1]
Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: F/M, Uhmmm... dunno what to say here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-15 21:54:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16072106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildButterflies/pseuds/WildButterflies
Summary: As the goddess of a small village, Kaoru is not powerful. Time seems to pass her by as she can only offer small things to her village. But when a desperate prayer calls to her, life changes rather quickly.(This will follow the series after a while. Rating will definitely increase later.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Still don't own anything.
> 
> This is a small series that I worry will spiral into an ungodly beast of a story. I will be following what's probably going to be an odd mix of the manga and anime later on.
> 
> I probably need to seriously look for a beta. So... any volunteers? :P
> 
> No? On with the story then! (That's right. Suffer my writing.)

Gods had existed far before humans came into being. Each one carried a specific purpose such as insuring the sun’s travel, providing safe passage for all beings that died, and protecting areas. Eventually human beings came into existence, and with them, came a new type of god. Ones that depended on the belief, prayers, and offerings of humans to live. 

Located in a small circle of mountains is a small village. The people are poor, but content with what is provided in their life. They may be cut off from the outside world, but there is always food from their crops and plenty of materials to make their small huts and clothing from. Unlike other villages, who have long forgotten their local deities, this isolated village depends on their goddess enough to provide offerings and prayers daily.

There are too few people to make their goddess powerful, but they provide what they can for her anyway. Kaoru will always provide what she can for them because of this. Her only purpose in her life is to bring rains and grant small wishes for her little village and it’s people. 

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Kaoru floats in her river. Today, she has already sent a blessed rain to the fields. Her villagers have been especially generous this year, and she is able to provide an even larger blessing because of it. She grins and flicks her tail in pleasure. They’ll have a bountiful harvest this year. Kaoru has outdone herself.

Gentle prayers whisper in her mind. Almost all are for a good harvest, and a rush of pleasure floods her senses. Until the jarring sensation of a desperate prayer brushes across her senses. Her tail flicks in agitation and she quickly dives into her river. Her shrine is downstream and she can feel the prayer’s origin is there. 

They built her shrine on a dock so that it seems to hover over her river. A staircase descends into her river. She supposes they built it so that she could walk into the shrine with ease. Kaoru is able to focus on the desperate prayer better under the shrine. 

Please, I beg of you. Please help me.

She can feel how the voice is begging her. It resonates within her until she can feel it vibrating in her chest. Kaoru strokes the weathered wood of the stairs in thought. She had never used them or turned her tail to legs, but she’s tempted. Kaoru can only feel vague sensations of what the prayer is about.

This specific desperation tinged prayer is calling her strongly enough to override any misgivings over doing these new things. Well, there’s a first time for everything. She has a surplus of strength this year so she can afford to use up a little more than usual. Kaoru hisses through her teeth and wills her tail to change. 

A soft glow hides how the change takes place. It’s easier than she thought it would be to turn her tail to legs. To her immense surprise, walking isn’t difficult for her either. She peeks into her shrine’s entry with curiosity over which villager is praying to her. 

A heavily pregnant woman is trying to bow on the floor of the shrine in prayer. Her words are slurred with tears. “Please. I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose this one too. I can’t bear it.” Kaoru recognizes this woman as her most devout villager. This is the woman who lost two babes and her husband. 

Kaoru utters a soft sigh in resignation. “I am here. Why does this pregnancy trouble you? Is it not further than the other two?” The woman jerks back in surprise at seeing the deity. Nobody had ever seen her before. Or, if they had, had never spoken of it. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that the strange woman with blue-black hair and cloud-like clothing is a goddess. 

She doesn’t notice that she’s whispering. “Just like the others. The baby stopped moving.” Those words open the way for aching hope. “Please. Can’t you help me?” It’s like a dagger is twisted in Kaoru’s chest. She is not a strong goddess, and had never tried to do anything other than bring blessings and a gentle rain. 

As well as grant an occasional wish, but nothing of this magnitude. She’s not even sure she can. To make matters worse, the woman is still silently praying. Unaware that Kaoru will be the only recipient. Kaoru meets her eyes when she answers. She will not shy away from telling her devout the truth.

“A god is only as strong as the amount of offerings, prayers, and believers they have. For many years, I have felt the other gods fade from existence due to the lack of these things.” The woman begins to look alarmed, and Kaoru continues, not wanting to give the woman time to panic. “I am in no danger of fading, but I am only able to grant small wishes, occasional blessings, and rain. I don’t know that I can help you.” 

The woman’s prayers cease at the news. Kaoru has to will herself to not look away from her when she presses her fingers to her mouth and starts keening. Eventually, the keening fades into sobbing. It’s a while before the woman is able to speak in a dead voice. “I have served you faithfully my entire life. Ever since being given the job of keeping your shrine in good condition. Is there any way I could convince you to try?”

Kaoru is still trying to desperately think, but her hand reaches out to touch the rounded belly seemingly of its own accord. What is she supposed to do? She’s never tried to do anything like this before. With her closeness to the unborn babe, she can sense how sluggish it is. What she can’t sense, is the cause for this.

Nutrients are flowing and everything feels right. It almost seems like the babe just gave up. Her thoughts halt as an idea gently appears to her. What if she tries it as a blessing? So, she whispers in the language of her people and follows with the word that the blessing will attach itself to.

“Live.”

The mother’s prayers had been humming in the back of her mind ever since she touched the skin separating the unborn child from the outside world. This time they felt of hope. The hope faded as a few minutes ticked by without any reaction from the unborn child. Kaoru feels so tired from the amount she had put into the blessing. 

“Thank you for trying. Even if it didn’t work.” As if to contradict her words, a strong kick was delivered to her side. Her hands flew to her belly unwilling to believe in it should it be a fantasy brought on by desperation. This time a foot kicked against her fingers, and hot tears of joy ran down her face.

Kaoru left without the woman noticing. She was so tired. It hurts less to change back to her tail. The woman stumbled to the shrine’s entrance only to see a shimmer of sapphire scales as the deity swam away. Another kick had her sinking to her knees and murmuring a prayer of gratitude. 

It tickled the back of Kaoru’s thoughts as she swam back to her favorite part of the riverbed. So tired. She wants to nap so badly, and the blessing on the crops earlier will guarantee the harvest this year. Just a short nap…


	2. Chapter 2

Kaoru listens to their prayers as she sleeps. Still, their prayers are for a good harvest, which means she can continue to rest with the knowledge their prayers are already granted. Slowly, over the course of a few months, she regains consciousness. Kaoru hums as she stretches to work out the kinks in her body. Stretching is somewhat painful in a good sort of way. 

She settles back onto the bottom of the riverbed to contemplate what to do for the day. Perhaps she could swim upstream and watch her village from the river? Her head tilts to the side as she thinks on that option. It sounds like a good idea. 

Kaoru grins at the thought of watching them. Mind made up, she swims upstream to her favorite spot in the river. She’s practically vibrating with excitement as she crosses her arms and rests her head on them. The village is built close enough to the river that she can see children playing with a ball. 

She basks in the sounds of their giggling as they kick the ball between themselves. Really, it’s only expected that they would accidentally kick the ball towards her eventually. Her head jerks up and she stops the ball before it hits her face. The children stare at it in amazement, and giggle happily in surprise when she gently pushes the ball to roll towards them. 

She watches as they look around for her excitedly before going back to their game. A heavy sigh of disappointment escapes her lips before she smiles wryly. Only one villager may see her. Only the most devout, because the humans have to believe in her without visual proof. The ancient law is tightly wound into the core of all gods like her. 

She rests her head on her arms absentmindedly. Too soon, the adults are already ushering the children back into their huts. Kaoru isn’t surprised by the woman waddling her way to her watching spot. The woman tries to sit next to her carefully but still lands with a soft thump. Kaoru eyes her swollen ankles and the happiness worn like a cloak.

She brushes a small blessing against the woman’s ankles. Now this one will be content like the others. “It’s getting harder to see you. You look translucent to me now, and it wasn’t so long ago that you were as real as any human to me.” 

She rests her hand over her stomach and almost swears that she feels her babe’s life. “None of the others have mentioned being able to see you. Do you- Do you think that my child will be able to see you?” Kaoru is tempted to look at the child. It’s only a moment that Kaoru wishes she could step onto land to do so. 

It’s probably best that she leaves something to surprise her. True surprises are awful difficult for her to come by. Besides, who doesn’t love a little bit of mystery? “Perhaps.” She murmurs. The woman smiles at Kaoru, and they watch the village in silence until sunset.

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Within the month, the woman comes to Kaoru’s shrine again. This time with a babe in her arms. Carefully, she maneuvers herself onto the goddess’ stairs leading into the water and sits on the step just above the water. It’s with a sense of unwavering trust that she lays her boy on the surface of the river. 

Kaoru can’t help but hold the child. Small sparse hairs suggest that he’ll be a redhead. “Shinta. His name is Shinta.” Kaoru glances back at the woman only to freeze. The woman is unable to look into Kaoru’s eyes this time. She can no longer see Kaoru.

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A few years later, Kaoru still watches her village from the river bank. “Only oni have red hair. I’m not playing with an oni.” Shinta’s shoulders slump as the last child runs back to the others. She worries her magic is responsible for his red hair and purple eyes. 

The humans are mainly dark eyed with even darker hair, but this one is so bright. Kaoru’s tail flicks in agitation, and she watches the boy walk to the river’s shore. He crouches in front of a large flat stone, and begins to spin his top on the surface. A soft cry of shock and a watery plop marks the moment the top spins off the rock and into the river. 

Shinta makes a small noise of distress as he leans over the water trying to see his top. Kaoru doesn’t think twice before she dives into the water and plucks it from the bottom. The look on Shinta’s face is worth it when she not only gives it back, but spins it on the rock with a flourish of the wrist. His eyes dart to the river and back to the top before widening even further in awe. “Goddess?” Kaoru glances at him and makes eye contact by accident. Wait… eye contact?

Shinta can see her.

After that, he spends every day at the shrine or at her spot in the river. Each time, he plays games modified for her inability to stand on land. “You know… everyone in my village has made a wish. Except you. Did you want to make one? I might be able to grant it.” His little face flushes red a bit. “A person who doesn’t think I’m an oni. One that would be friends with me.” 

Isn’t that just like a knife to her chest? She, who has done this to him the moment she interfered with him in the womb? “One day. One day you’ll have one.” Large, hopeful eyes focus on her. “Pinkie promise?” Kaoru seals the deal as she wraps her larger pinkie finger around his. “Pinkie promise.”

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Kaoru knows that something has gone horribly wrong when the sobbing prayers begin. She’s too weak from pain to move from her riverbed, and keens in agony each time she feels another believer die from the cholera ravaging her village. Eventually the pain begins to fade, and with it, herself. 

The only thing she was able to do, was make their passings painless. Kaoru can feel one villager in her shrine. The last one alive. Slowly, ever so slowly, she makes her way to the shrine. Strangers had come to her village a short while before the cholera. 

They had been trading with her people. Not a single one of them had come down with cholera. The last few days, she had watched them ransack the huts of her deceased villagers. Dread and relief war inside of her at the sight of red hair in the shrine. The only survivor is her favorite, but still a child.

How can he care for himself? She used up a small amount of energy to change her tail to legs and drags herself up the stairs tiredly. Shinta clings to her and sobs loudly. After a while, he quiets and whispers to her. “Goddess, are you leaving me too?” 

Kaoru stares at her fingers, and notes how they’re so translucent. “Only after you stop believing that I exist. Only then.” They both fall asleep still holding onto each other. She’s too tired and too weak to protect Shinta when the strangers drag him from her dock. 

“He’ll probably fetch an ok price. Everyone wants a child. They’re the easiest to train when they’re young.” She screams in rage and pain and horror. In her anger, rain begins to pour harshly across the land screaming with her.

Kaoru never notices. She can only hear his cries and see him reaching for her.

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Half her energy goes towards influencing the strongest human’s dreams. Save the child. Train him to be a swordsman and to protect with the sword. The other half goes towards pushing her faded body onto dry land until she reaches the bloodsoaked land. She watches as the swordsman saves Shinta and tries to remain conscious as Shinta buries all of the humans. Including the bandits. 

The swordsman changes Shinta’s name to Kenshin. Even though she is happy, she is weak and invisible to her own eyes, much less Kenshin’s. Her body was never meant for dry land. Kaoru watches as he trains hard. The swordsman is nearly merciless in his training regimen. Eventually, he forgets her completely, and she fades away. The skies mourn her passing with a soft gentle rain.

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In a sense, Kaoru is still alive. “You want to live child?” The god of death’s voice is gentle when asking. “The only survivor of my little village asked a wish of me. I pinkie promised.” The deity cock’s it’s head at her. 

“What a strange little goddess you are. A child that would have looked similar to you will be born tomorrow. The child’s soul has already moved onto the next life, and the body will be stillborn. However, should you choose this, you will never be able to tell the boy who you are. You know the consequences of this action. Choose wisely.” 

The sensation of hope rose hot and sharp in her chest. “I must. No matter the consequence.” The deity chuckled. “Then live child.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was actually prewritten to an extent. Which is why it's getting a new update today. Before the others. :P

Kaoru doesn’t remember her time as an infant. She remembers her time as a goddess and struggles to adjust as a toddler that walks on land. Her first memories in this body are the cruel whispers of the women from town. “Poor girl, to have lost her mother so young. At least she died in childbirth. The girl won’t have to suffer her loss as much this way.” 

And of course, the even more popular whispers. “That child is creepy. Her eyes look… too old, and you know what they say about blue eyes…” Before this body, she had been used to watching humans from afar. Maybe her villagers were kinder than most humans, or perhaps she had never seen the small acts of cruelty from the distance. 

However, she’s not naive enough to think there’s good without the bad. That is simply a fact of life. It’s when she’s five that the first consequence sets in. In order for a fading deity to survive, they must have a reason to live. She had claimed attachment, and the consequence is to dream of her attachment. 

Dream being too vague a term. Really, her essence will leave it’s mortal shell when she sleeps only to reappear with her attachment. From there, the consequence gets strange. Each night, she can choose two of three senses. Touch, sight, and sound. The consequence will continue until such time that the attachment tells her to leave and never return.

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Waking instead of sleeping feels as though she’s surfacing from her river. ‘Sight, sound, touch. Which two do you desire?’ Sight and touch seem most reasonable. She could figure out how to communicate without her voice. 

Kaoru opens her eyes to a dark alley with three men talking. “Marrying your beautiful childhood sweetheart, you lucky dog.” One of them says. The young man his statement seems to be directed towards flushes and ducks his head with a small shy smile, curled at the edges with pleasure. “Thank you.” He murmurs joyfully. 

His smile slips from his face as a serious expression takes over. “But I can’t help worrying. In these troubled times, why should I-” Kaoru gasps from shock as they walk through her. Looking down at her body, she observes her appearance retained that of her mortal shell with the addition of slightly glowing. 

Stunned from the observation she looks up and stares at gold eyes that have appeared behind the men in the alley instead of listening to their words. They glance at her before focusing on the men. Kenshin? “-Must have your deaths.” No. Kenshin wouldn’t talk like that. 

 

The metallic rings of swords being drawn attracts her attention. Numbly, she watches the man -Not Kenshin. He can’t be Kenshin.- strike down two men. He turns on the third. The one that is going to marry his sweetheart and live happily ever after, her mind insisted. Mercilessly, he is slashed across the chest. Kaoru can see the moment his eyes focus on her. 

“I… don’t want to die. I was… finally going… to marry her. I would have… loved her… forever.” Each pause he drags himself to her until he touches the bottom of her white sleeping clothes with bloodied fingers. “To-” The man with gold eyes makes it rain blood while finishing him off. 

The dead man’s fingers are still tangled into her hem, so she gently untangles them. With a cold horror, she lays his hand on the ground carefully and brushes his eyes closed. He must have believed her to be a deity of death, she thinks. The murderer is leaning on his sword, still lodged in the dead man, staring at her.

Details begin to emerge with the dead men’s lamps so close. Red hair, like blood, and violet flecked gold eyes. He tracks her movements as she reaches out to touch the bleeding slash on his face. Her heart in her throat, she mouths his name, and his eyes go wide. Kenshin jerks back from her like he’s been stung when other men walk into the alley.

He glances at her before talking with them. Kaoru is at a loss for what to do when he starts to walk away. “May you find happiness… in your next life.” She wasn’t meant to hear it. In fact, she was sure none of those closer to him had heard it. That whisper said with aching grief had her following him without further hesitation.

In silence, they walk to an inn. Kenshin seems to avoid all of the men talking in groups. Kaoru looks over the men and notices how they all avoid looking at Kenshin. Observes the way they grow stiff as he passes them. Eventually, they walk into the inn’s quiet courtyard. His expression is cold as he washes his hands in a basin. 

He continues washing after the blood is gone, and his eyes are unfocused. Kaoru is still learning human behavior, but this seems even more strange than most behaviors. Slowly, she reaches up to wrap her hand around one of his wrists. Kenshin jerks back from her and she can see the whites of his eyes from how wide they are in shock. 

His lips are thin and bloodless as he pries her fingers from his wrist. Rapidly, he walks back into the inn and to a room with clothing strewn everywhere. Benches and basins of water are spaced every few feet. Kaoru’s face flushes red as she realizes she followed Kenshin into a bathing area. She can’t move fast enough to stand outside the door. 

Kenshin’s amused expression escapes her notice. She bounces on the soles of her feet for a while. A few sullen glances at the shoji, and he has yet to come out. Kaoru sighs and begins to twiddle her thumbs. Well it’s understandable it would take a while. After all he was covered in- Nope. Not thinking about that. 

She stares at the shoji intently when she hears footsteps on the other side. Kaoru perks up when the shoji opens before jerking back in horror at the sight of a very naked and very elderly man. Never does she want to see anything like that. Ever again. She presses her fingers over her eyes and leans against the wall. 

What if Kenshin is in there trying to wash blood off after it’s already gone? She’ll- She could- Maybe she should go in there and see if he’s ok. Without seeing anything. Kaoru could keep her hands over her eyes and walk around until she bumps into someone. So far only Kenshin and the dying seem able to see or touch her. 

If she was able to make noises, she would have shrieked when Kenshin started tugging her hands away from her eyes. Instead, she flails and falls over to his disbelief. He stares at her with a raised eyebrow before setting her upright. “Come.” Kenshin walks towards the inn rooms. 

Belatedly, she rushes to keep up with him. He shuts the shoji after she walks in behind him. Kenshin moves to sit against a table by the window. After he settles his sword in his lap, he looks back at her. “Explain.” Idiot. Doesn’t he realize that she would have said something by now if she could? 

At her scathing look, he tries again. "Can you speak?" Settling across from him, Kaoru shakes her head no and taps the floor twice. "Are you alive?" Nodding this time, she taps the floor once. "One tap for yes and two for no?" This time, Kaoru taps the floor once sharply. Glad to be rid of nodding. It was already making her head hurt which shouldn't even be possible. She doesn't have a body.

"Are you a god?" At this question, Kaoru freezes. Does she consider herself a deity anymore when she's just a faded creature in a mortal shell? Carefully she taps the floor twice, pauses, and taps once more. "Is that a maybe?" Two taps this time. "...Were you a god at one time?" She glances at him sharply. Clever boy. One tap.

“Do you know me? I mean, you did sort of say my name…” This is the question that stumps Kaoru. She can’t tell him yes, she doesn’t want to lie, and she cannot draw anything. Kaoru crawls closer to him and holds out her hand. She sighs and grabs his hand when he doesn’t move. Running her finger on his palm, she traces the characters for ink on his hand.

He frowns at her for several moments before speaking again. “I can’t read.” Of course he didn’t. Of. Course. Maybe she should have chosen sight and sound instead, but she had thought that touch would make her feel more real. He rustles through the desk and pulls out a brush set and papers. “You could draw something maybe?” 

She stares at the items for a while before inking a portrait of a woman from her first set of memories. Kaoru watches the way his fingers tremble when he picks up the paper. “My…. mother?” One tap. “You knew her?” One tap. Kaoru carefully watches the expression on his face fade back into the cold unfeeling mask. 

“Why are you here?” She inks the characters for friend on another paper. He draws away from her irritatedly and snaps when she tries to give him the paper. “I can’t read.” Sighing, she drops the paper and throws her arms around his neck. It feels strange to be so small when her previous memories of him were of when he was smaller. 

At first he’s stiff in her arms, but when she starts to pull away, he drops his sword to pull her back. Kenshin falls asleep first. Kaoru wakes in her mortal shell not remembering when she fell asleep. 

Koshijirou, her mortal shell’s father, is carrying her to the kitchen for breakfast. “Hey Ru, you wouldn’t wake up for a while there. Thought I was going to have to dunk you in some cold water.” Kaoru always feels guilty around this man. He lost his wife and his child. She had taken his child’s place like some kind of changeling and he didn’t know. 

Always, she wanted this man to know that she wasn’t his real daughter. Always, she had been too afraid to do so. After what she had seen last night, she realized life is too short for samurai. Too short for her to keep expecting him to return home for her to tell him. “I’m not your Kaoru. The real one was stillborn and I took her body.” 

The man set her down in front of the dinner table and began to serve their meal in silence. “When my wife was pregnant, she told me of a dream she had about a goddess that looked like a mermaid. The goddess apologized to her and delivered the news of a stillborn child. Then asked permission to use our unborn child’s body. My wife apparently agreed. She informed me our child would be named Kaoru and have blue eyes. I never believed her tale until she gave birth to a girl with blue eyes. Even if you are not my child, you were born into this life as my child. So to me…. To me you are my second child.” 

Kaoru’s chopsticks slipped from her fingers. “Now eat your breakfast Kaoru.” 

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Kenshin laid down rules for her. She is to wait in his room unless she appears outside in which case she is to wait for him to finish his business. Preferably facing away from who he’s killing and with hands over her ears. Kaoru wants to protest about him ordering her around but… she doesn’t want to see that again. 

Every night he plays small child’s games with her. Eventually she’ll tell him she’s actually far older than he is. As for now, he seems happy to play. Tonight, she wakes to him spinning his top on top of the desk. Kenshin makes a small noise, almost a squeak, when it falls off the table and rolls into her feet.

Feeling a sense of deja vu from so long ago, she placed it back on the table and spun it. He looks at her oddly, but seems to ignore whatever feeling of deja vu he may be experiencing as well. They spin his top all night. The next time she comes, he has a woman on the futon that he never uses. 

Flushed with embarrassment and refusing to look at her, he petulantly speaks to her. “It’s not what it looks like. She’s just a drunk that saw me kill someone and I didn’t want to kill her.” Kaoru just offers a smile and sits next to him quietly keeping guard. Over the next few nights, he seems happier. More alive.

Kaoru is not jealous. She most definitely doesn’t feel like a knife has been driven into her chest every time he lights up at the sight of Tomoe. Kaoru is startled to wake in a small village where the two of them have settled down in a house. Together. She is happy for the two of them. Both seem happy here.

Kaoru tries to stay out of their way when she wakes. Eventually Kenshin has enough and hunts her down. He sits quietly next to her on the hill outside his home. “You’re the goddess from my village aren’t you?” Kaoru smiles faintly but doesn’t tap. Instead she stares at the stars. 

She ignores the quiet rustling sound he makes. Eventually it stops and he places his top in her hands. “You kept your promise of giving me a friend. It’s my offering to you.” Kaoru rolls the top between her fingers for a moment. Feeling out the feelings he had when he used it. Loneliness. Grief. Joy. Contentment. 

She smiles softly before pressing the top back into his hands. Kaoru wakes in her home with her father with joy in her heart. Kenshin’s going to be alright. He’s going to love Tomoe forever, and one day they’ll have children together. She is content with the knowledge.


	4. Chapter 4

Kaoru spends every waking moment with her father after her talk with Kenshin. Koshijirou takes every opportunity to teach her something new. His attempts at teaching her cooking ends with unmitigated disaster. At first everything was burnt to a crisp and yet somehow soggy. 

Eventually it became only soggy. This is something that confounds Koshijirou. He watched and made sure that everything was done exactly as instructed and yet it would still end up waterlogged. The only womanly art Kaoru succeeds with is embroidery. 

His home has a dojo for him to practice in and slowly he is creating his own style. There’s a purpose for his new style in mind. Possibly something that would have him proclaimed mad, but it’s a far off dream at the moment. Not even a fully formed idea really, but it is enough to give him hope for something new after the war.

He can feel Kaoru watching him from the shadows as he practices. Often he forgets what his daughter is, but when he sees the fire in her shadowed blue eyes, he remembers. Kaoru will never be taught his current sword style. However, one day, he will teach her the one he is trying to create.

At night, Kaoru continues to watch Kenshin and Tomoe live happily. She cannot stop coming unless he speaks the words demanding her to leave and not return. So instead, she decides to do small things while there. Kaoru pulls weeds in their small garden, and fills their emptied buckets with water from the river. 

Sometimes, on quiet nights, Tomoe will sit next to where she’s weeding and watch the weeds seemingly jump from the ground and join a pile. Eventually Tomoe brings ink and paper with her and sets them next to the weeds. For a long time Tomoe says nothing. “What are you?” Carefully, she writes out vague answers. 

The nights continue like that for a long time. Tomoe had, at some point, been horrified by her clumsy writing and taken it upon herself to teach Kaoru how to better write. After that, Tomoe invited her into the house and continued their lessons as she wrote in her diary. Kenshin watches them both with fondness. 

Kaoru often wonders if he’s imagining Tomoe teaching his own child one day. And then, Kaoru comes and their house is dark. The night before, she had been unable to sleep. As a result, she had fallen asleep early in the day so perhaps she had merely missed them. The sun’s light glitters as it touches the snow. Slowly she looks around for footsteps.

There’s only one set that she can see, and so she follows them into the woods until she finds a crumpled letter. Unwrapping it, she reads the contents. The taste of bile rises in her throat and she tosses it to the side in favor of running through the snow. She ignores the bodies and blood. 

Kaoru is too late. She shrieks in horror as Tomoe moves between Kenshin and a much larger man. A blink of the eye and everything’s over so quickly. Tomoe and the man crumple. Kenshin grabs Tomoe and gathers her closely. Kaoru is too far away to make out what they’re saying as she closes in. 

She’s leaning next to Kenshin, over Tomoe, gasping for breath when Tomoe draws her dagger across Kenshin’s face. She smiles at both of them. Her last view will be of Kenshin and her mysterious weed picker. Tears prick the corners of her eyes as she tries to wipe away their tears. She feels peace as she whispers to them. “It’s alright… So please don’t cry…”

Tomoe slowly blinks once before she sinks into death’s embrace. Kaoru can only watch Kenshin sob out entreaties to Tomoe’s body. “Can’t you do something?” Her eyes slide to the death god that is coaxing out the soul. It’s eyes meet her’s before responding. “There’s nothing you can do about this one. Not even I could save her.” Kaoru taps Kenshin’s shoulder twice before placing her fingers over his hand.

Kenshin jerks away from her touch. “Don’t touch me. Just- just go away. Leave me alone.” He hadn’t told her not to come back, but she felt the binding happen just the same. The first consequence is broken. She grabs the top from inside the sleeve Kenshin keeps it in when she feels herself fading. 

Kenshin turns to snap at Kaoru only to stare at her in horror. “Wha- No. No, I didn’t mean it. Please not you too…” He reaches out towards her with a hand just as she fades back into her shell. While Kenshin sobs in the snow, Kaoru sleepily stares into her room with her fingers wrapped around the top.

Kaoru falls into the sleep of a normal girl. Oblivious to the terror of Koshijirou when she won’t wake up the first few days. Koshijirou stood off to the side as the family doctor looked over Kaoru. Doctor Gensai looks up at him and shakes his head. “It looks like a severe case of exhaustion. We just have to make sure she’s getting food and fluids in her system.”

The consequence made sure that Kaoru’s mind was never rested along with her body. 

Kaoru slept for weeks under the watchful eye of Doctor Gensai. She looks up at him blearily when she wakes before bursting into sobs. “What’s wrong Kaoru?” But she can’t tell him, or anyone, of the consequences.

A few days later, she’s kneeling before her father with her forehead pressed to the tatami mats. “Otou-san. Teach me swordsmanship.” Her father stares at her sternly before smiling. “Yes, of course I’ll teach you. It’ll be something new that nobody else has ever considered possible.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The second consequence takes place when Kaoru is fifteen. By this time of her life, she’s convinced it was all a dream. The memories of her being a goddess have been reduced to the dreams of a young child. Every step feels like knives are stabbing into the skin of her feet. 

But Kaoru didn’t master her father’s swordsmanship style without being able to bear pain. The blisters that showed up on her skin from practicing long hours with a bokken and the bruises from hits the other students landed have well versed her in pain. She can bear this just as she did the taunting from the male students and the whispers of women. 

Koshijirou noticed that his students didn’t take well to a woman learning swordsmanship. Not just learning, but being better than them. When he first moves to intervene, the fire in his daughter’s gaze stops him. Not only does she take them down, but she doesn’t gloat over it.

By the time she was sixteen, several students had asked for her hand in marriage. Koshijirou refused them all. When -if- that time came, Kaoru would be the one to make the decision. At seventeen, her father is drafted to the Seinan war and never comes back. Her feet are always covered in blood from invisible wounds due to the second consequence.

Doctor Gensai checks in frequently to check for infection. His students make offers to her and promise to keep the dojo alive. A few of them even promise she can keep her bokken. It’s enough to make her want to smack her bokken across their heads until their skulls crack. 

And then, they all leave the dojo when a street killer calling himself Battousai talks of using the Kamiya Kasshin style. Kaoru is alone again. Somewhat. Kihei, the housekeeper, is still living with her. She thinks of him as almost like family even with his badgering about marriage and selling the dojo. Kaoru rarely eats and grows complacent with her practicing while in grief. 

Murmurs of a Hitokiri Battousai murdering people on the streets using the Kamiya Kasshin style forces her to patrol the streets. The third consequence is that Kaoru will not know Kenshin when she sees him. “Hitokiri Battousai! I finally found you!” It’s not until she bashes him into a fence that she realizes something is wrong.

A wanderer with a harmless sword. Kaoru could have slapped herself silly for attacking a poor wanderer. Judging from his clothing he is destitute. She’s torn between wanting to burn the clothing, rip it into shreds for rags, or take a needle and attempt mending them. The shrill sound of police whistles draws her into action.

The large man attacking the police doesn’t fit the diminutive man in her memories. Dreams. They were only dreams, she firmly reminds herself. The distraction, forgetting to eat, and the pain of her feet prove to be her undoing. A delayed reaction and misstep allows the man to slash across her arm and move into position for a final blow. 

“Eh?” Her eyes are wide with shock as she stares at the wanderer carrying her off. “You are quite the risk taker.” His voice is amusedly rueful. The large man, she’s not going to call him Battousai because the conflict between dreams and reality is making her head hurt, makes his getaway. 

“He’s using my family’s swordsmanship to murder people! I have to- have…” Kenshin doesn’t know how to respond when the girl faints in his arms. Glancing at the police force remaining, he runs off with her to the first dojo he remembered walking by when he came to Tokyo. Luckily it seems to be the right one, if the sign that screams Kamiya Kasshin Dojo has anything to do with it.

The man inside seems less than worried over her unconscious state more than the strange man in ragged clothing carrying her. The doctor he calls is different and speaks to Kenshin rather than at him. “Wait, I think she deserves to thank you for helping her. You should stick around until she wakes up young man.” Hesitantly, he waits in the dojo while the doctor treats the girl. He politely looks away when the wound on her upper arm is bound.

Kenshin’s eyes are wide when the doctor takes off the girl’s shoes to reveal blood soaked bandages on her feet. After the bandages are removed to reveal feet devoid of wounds, Kenshin’s moving closer without realizing. “What?” The doctor glances over at him. “I don’t know. Started about a year ago and I don’t know what’s causing it.”

They sit in silence until Kaoru regains consciousness. Kenshin is staring at the names left on the dojo wall so she tells him of her dojo’s downfall. She could never have suspected the contemplative look on his face would lead to the exposure of Kihei and Gohei, the faux Battousai using her family style to murder as revenge. Kaoru stares at the wanderer that took down every man attacking her dojo. The same wanderer that proclaimed himself to be the real Battousai.

His stature fit that of the man in her dreams. “My apologies, Kaoru-dono. I didn’t want to hide the truth. It was just something I didn’t want to talk about if possible.” He had no right to have puppy eyes. Her thought process stutters as he walks away. “Excuse me. Farewell.” Now wait just a minute, she thinks with her eyes flashing in anger.

“Wait a second! How am I supposed to clean all this up by myself? You made a hole in my floor! I don’t care about your past!” A deceptively carefree smile is pasted on his face. “Considering Kihei, perhaps you should care. It’s better if I leave. You don’t need the real Battousai here after finally clearing your name.” Kaoru’s eyes narrow. “I’m not asking the Battousai to stay. I want you, the wanderer-” She cuts herself off and turns away from him. 

“Forget it. Leave if you have to, but at least tell me your name. Battousai was the name of a patriot a long time ago.” Of course, if he had wanted people to know his name, nobody would be calling him Battousai would they? “But then I guess you wouldn’t want to tell me your real name.” Kaoru’s shoulders slump at the sound of shoji shutting. 

She had wanted answers about why her dreams seem to be based in reality. Where did she know the Battousai well enough to dream about him accurately? “Kenshin.” Her head snaps toward him and suddenly she recalls why he looks familiar. The dreams are memories. “Himura Kenshin is my name now. I’m a little tired of traveling. A wanderer never knows where he’s going or for how long, but if you don’t mind, I’ll stay with you for a little while.”

Wait… “If you were a warrior during the Bakumatsu, then just how old are you?” A seemingly docile expression on his face precedes him speaking. “Oro?” Her eyebrow ticks a little at the ridiculous word. “Don’t you oro me, you can’t be over thirty with a face like that!” A dawning horror presses at the back of her mind. “Well let’s see… How old am I?” He counts his fingers murmuring under his breath.

“You don’t know your own age?” Why couldn’t he make this easy on her? “Twenty-eight?” The fact that it’s phrased like a question makes her want to smack him over the head with her bokken, but everything hurts right now. Instead, she settles on the facts. A person that’s twenty-eight could still look that young with good breeding. It doesn’t mean that she had interfered too much when she pressed magic to a woman’s womb so long ago… Right? 

It’s then that she recalls the third consequence. After all, if her dreams were reality, then it can only mean the consequences are as well.


	5. Chapter 5

Life after Kenshin moved into her dojo passed by… What is the word she’s looking for? Eventfully. Eventfully is the word. It begins when he brings her a boy named Yahiko as a student. An ungrateful loudmouthed student. Then a fighter for hire, Sanosuke, joins her family. 

Megumi, a doctor that once made opium, is the next to join them. An awful fox woman with a tendency to lean and fawn on Kenshin. Which does not irritate Kaoru. Not even a little bit. Nope. 

Each of them are equally horrified at Kaoru’s soggy and often soupy attempts at cooking. Megumi had attempted to teach her how to cook like a woman with a flick of her hair and an examination of her nails. Three hours into that lesson, she stumbled out of the kitchen with wide horrified eyes. “How? Just- How?” 

Kenshin’s cringing even as he inquires. “What’s wrong Megumi-dono?” He didn’t despise Kaoru’s cooking like the others, but he certainly didn’t envy Megumi’s self-given task. “Everything was done perfectly. Perfectly.” Megumi’s eyes have manic gleam to them as she reaches out to grasp his gi. 

“I don’t know what happened.” Yahiko and Sano are leaning away from Megumi’s temporary insanity. Both are uncharacteristically quiet with looks of horror pasted on their faces as they try not to bring attention to themselves. Their heads snap to the shoji when Kaoru’s voice echoes from the kitchen.

“Megumi? Are we going to try again?” Megumi’s horrified eyes snap to the shoji, and her knuckles turn white in Kenshin’s gi. “Oro?” Somehow Megumi had surpassed even Kenshin’s speed in her escape. He hadn’t even seen her move. Even stranger, he has no idea how he landed on the floor.

It isn’t until a few months later that Megumi confronts Kaoru. “Have you noticed that your cooking turns into soup when people are injured?” Kaoru pauses in thought before responding. As a goddess, her element had been water and rains. Even now, it seems that it rains when she’s upset so perhaps… No. Her old abilities couldn’t possibly be influencing her cooking.

“No.” It’s the truth in a way. She truly hadn’t noticed. Megumi’s eyes narrow at this and she hums non committedly. “I see…” Really Kaoru shouldn’t have been surprised when Megumi asked Kaoru to cook the day after. Unknown to Kaoru, Megumi had watched the healing rates increase exponentially upon their injured friends’ consumption of her food. 

Megumi felt conflicted. She is a doctor first and foremost, but this? This is outside her realm of knowledge. Late at night she resolves to watch quietly and study the results. Perhaps one day she would unlock the mysteries of Kaoru’s horrid cooking.

The days continue in a blur of family and revenge plots from Kenshin’s enemies. Kaoru can never tell Kenshin who she is, but she still has his top buried in the bottom of her keepsake chest. Well, her top. After all it was given to her as an offering. 

Kaoru is proud of the fact that she’s managed to not only keep her promise, but multiply it. Each day, she watches them all at the dinner table interacting joyfully. Not just friends, but family, and isn’t that a great deal more precious than what was promised? And then, Kenshin leaves. The pain of her body is too much to handle with the pain of her heart. In the end, it’s Megumi, -Really, Megumi of all people- who encourages her to go after him. 

She works hard to ignore the call of the water and focus on Yahiko instead while on the boat. When the boat reaches land, Kaoru feels the pull of something calling her. Yahiko’s panicked voice is barely registering because she has to go there. She enters a small secluded hut without knocking or speaking to stare at a small shrine with wide eyes. 

A large man stares hard at her as she runs her fingers over the delicately carved shrine. Kenshin also stares at her in shock. His first thought had been anger because how dare she follow him here when he was only trying to protect them all by leaving? He hadn’t wanted to look at her, but the bizarre behavior and Yahiko’s panicked state had shocked him enough to stare.

Kaoru’s fevered gaze lands on Hiko, and she drops to the floor and presses her forehead to the tatami. “It is a pleasure to see you again Hiko-san. Truly I owe you a great debt for the favor I asked of you.” Kenshin and Yahiko watch her with wide eyes only to be interrupted when Hiko glances at them sharply.

“Baka deshi, take the boy and fetch some water.” Hiko lets his murderous ki loose in the hut when the boy starts to protest instead of following Kenshin. He watches the boy shoot him a mutinous look before scampering off. Ugh, children still give him the hives.

Hiko turns all of his attention on the woman before him. She’s back to staring at the shrine with awed eyes. Being owed isn’t something he enjoys. It’s with a flashy adjustment of his cloak and a sigh that he speaks. “Girl. How about you tell me about how Kenshin’s lived since leaving and then the matter of owing debts will be considered settled.” His question is said as a demand instead of a question. 

The girl’s smile is oddly bright as she begins the story. He supposes he can’t really call her a girl since, technically, she’s a goddess, but when has he ever cared about that? It was after the baka deshi left that he searched for the shrine of the goddess that asked him to rescue the boy. Only sentimentality convinced him to keep a part of it in his home and place his pottery experiments as offerings.

Sentimentality, not those icky feelings of caring. The girl finishes her tale and goes back to examining the shrine. Probably thinking of his baka deshi’s people. They must have really cared for her for the carvings to be done so perfectly. He couldn’t find a single mistake. 

“Baka deshi came here looking to learn the final technique.” Kaoru hums affirmatively as she continues to run her fingers over the shrine piece. She can feel the love of her villagers and the happiness from her blessings in each mark. It feels like a painful jagged edge inside of her is being carefully soothed. 

Almost like a missing piece is being replaced by a phantom piece. You can’t go back, she fiercely remind herself. What’s gone is gone. She sighs softly and withdraws from the shrine. Only one of her people still lives, and she will do what she can to provide happiness. Well, two if she counts Hiko. He did make offerings to her shrine.

Yes, he can be one of her’s as well, and with that thought comes a bond. It’s not as strong as the one that gives her vague impressions of Kenshin’s emotions, but it’s just strong enough to give her the vague impression of a thought. Passing on the final technique will kill Hiko or Kenshin. Possibly both. 

Carefully she feels around her core for any hints of a magic left, and faintly smiles. Hiko looks disturbed by her sudden mood change and she ignores that in favor of placing her hands on Hiko’s shoulders. She whispers the blessing and then everything goes dark. Too much strain on her core.

Alarmed, Hiko scrabbles to press fingers to her throat. A few beats too slow but steady. The memories of doing this once before to the twelfth surfaces and Hiko struggles to bury it deeper than before. Some things aren’t meant to dwell upon.

“Kaoru?” Hiko grimaces when both the brat and baka drop their buckets of water on his floor. Damn uncoordinated idiots he thinks with a scowl. He retreats back to his seat and downs a bottle of sake after it seems they rush to care for the girl. Hiko begins nursing another bottle of sake thinking about what the whispered blessing. 

At least, he thought it was a blessing. It’s difficult to say since she spoke in another language. Really, it may have been the same language. He had recognized a few of the words as being archaic versions. “You traveled for ten years as a wanderer. Did it take you that long to understand the reason behind the Hiten Mitsurugi or were you merely trying to atone for what you did as a hitokiri?” 

Kenshin’s hands paused in inexpertly attending to another’s illness as his mouth worked trying to find the words for his answer. “It was both. And because of what I said to you fifteen years ago. I could see people suffering before my eyes-” Hiko cut him off and blew back his cloak in a grand gesture. “Even though you’re a baka deshi, you can still talk like a man when it comes time to act.” 

In a sweeping grand walk to the door, Hiko yelled behind him. “Come with me now! I will pass on the final technique of the Hiten Mitsurugi to you!” A pause at the doorway and he glances at the water remaining on his floor. “The child will stay here and clean up the mess you two caused.” Kenshin follows Hiko obediently and only looks back at Kaoru once.

Kaoru sleeps through the Aoiya’s battle with the Juppongatana and Kenshin’s battle with Shishio. She even sleeps through being moved to the Aoiya, and finally back to the Kamiya dojo. It’s when she wakes that she feels the third consequence is far closer than she had realized. At the first moment alone, she draws up a will leaving the dojo to Yahiko so long as he agrees to provide shelter to Sanosuke, Megumi, and Kenshin should they ever be in need for a home. 

The third consequence isn’t what matters. What matters is that her family and her people are taken care of. Anything that will happen to her is trivial in comparison. Kaoru pauses to think over what loose ends remain. 

First she makes a list of dojo instructors that had learned from her father before teaching their own styles. Second she places the scrolls with the succession techniques of the Kamiya Kasshin next to the will. Third she places Kenshin’s top in a box and carefully inks his name on it. 

Kaoru isn’t blind to the way the others seem to be more careful of her. Megumi makes daily visits to change the bloody bandages on her feet. Always muttering when she can’t find injuries. Kenshin has washed everything in her home three times a day. 

He’s also made her so much tea that just the smell of it makes her feel nauseated. She used to like tea. Yahiko pesters her for lessons but refuses to spar with her. Sanosuke constantly brings her sake. Which makes no sense because Kaoru is a horrible drunk. Everyone says so!

At this rate Kaoru is going to go stir crazy and own a sake collection to rival Hiko’s. Oh! Quickly she adds a line to her will that all the sake in the house is to be given to Hiko. Kaoru despises being coddled, but walking brings the excruciating pain of knives stabbing into her feet and bone-deep exhaustion. And then Enishi kidnaps her.

The rain is roaring it’s rage to match the one that swirls in Kaoru and Enishi’s mood sours as it’s presence forbidding him to lounge on his favorite rooftop chair. When Kenshin finds his answers in the slum, he returns to their friends -his family- and is given a box with his name delicately inked on the top. The handwriting looks vaguely familiar.

It whispers to him of late nights. Of Tomoe’s soft voice teaching someone invisible to her eyes. He ignores the way his shaking fingers lift the lid and his breath stutters upon the sight of his top. “Kaoru’s alive.” He tells them because he can feel it deep in his bones.

It stops raining when Kaoru sees her family, her people, have come for her. It’s with pride that she watches her apprentice win a battle using the succession technique. Never does she doubt Kenshin will win and she notes, as she watches his eyes, that he has no doubt either. Later, when Enishi is in chains, she recognizes Tomoe’s diary in Misao’s clutches.

Enishi looks at her as though she’s an anomaly when she gives it to him. It’s on the boat that she can feel the third consequence. You will turn to sea foam for not even you can escape death. “I love you all so much.” Her voice startles them from the quiet contentment and awe that had settled over them from a returned loved one. 

“We- we love you too Kaoru.” Megumi chokes out with a dawning horror. Kaoru smiles at her in a way she hopes is reassuring, and she leans back. Purposefully dropping off the side of the boat. Her body turns to foam before hitting the water.

The rag-tag family returns victorious, but without the beloved woman they had gone to claim. And life moves on without her.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Death makes its way to the afterlife with a purpose in mind. The rains have stopped obeying the gods, all but demanding Kaoru be returned to it. While Death does not have the power to create a goddess or give a goddess a purpose, on this occasion it is merely a messenger. Kaoru accepts without hesitation and now she is a strong goddess of the rain instead of the weak goddess she had been before.

To humans in Tokyo, she looks like a woman dressed in fine silk robes with blue-tinted black hair. She ignores the stares and walks through winding streets to reach the Kamiya dojo. Carefully she knocks on the large wooden doors and Yahiko answers. “Are you the current master of the Kamiya dojo?” Yahiko’s eyes are narrowed at her as he responds. “Yes. What about it?” Kaoru gives an indulgent smile that she knows will irritate him. “I would like to spar with you.”

They walk through the courtyard to the dojo, and Kaoru is pleased to see Kenshin still lives in the home. Even though he’s doing laundry again. Really the man should find more than laundry pleasing. “She’s here for a spar.” Kenshin’s head cocks curiously. “Oro?” She almost smiles from nostalgia.

This time there is only one consequence. She cannot tell them who she is. But that doesn’t mean that she can’t beat it into Yahiko with a bokken. Yahiko lasts almost half an hour before she pulls the succession technique out successfully. He’s almost strong enough to give her a run for her money. Almost.

“...Kaoru?” The look in Yahiko’s eyes is part pleading and part hope, and she doesn’t have to look at Kenshin to see his reaction. She can feel his anticipation from where she stands. “Of course Little Yahiko.” As Yahiko shouts about being called little, she grins at Kenshin mischievously and taps once.

Finally, Kaoru is home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thanks to my guest reviewer. I have shortened this chapter considerably because the only alternative was to give a play by play of every single event that shows up in the manga or anime. (I don't know that any of us have enough life to wait for me to write all of that out.)


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